How do you feel about change? Is it good, bad or otherwise? Regardless of how we feel about change as individuals, it is a part of life.
Recently, I had a chance to discover this for myself. My mom was visiting earlier this summer, and I realized that she was changing. Not anything catastrophic, just little things. She's a little more forgetful than she used to be, a little more confused. At times, I felt that I was being the parent to her. Mom and I have had our moments of strife and disagreement, but we've always been close. Now I felt our relationship changing a little bit. I wasn't comfortable with this change at all. "Why do I have to act like the parent?" I thought. "She's the parent, not me!"
Role reversals are not comfortable, but then change is often challenging. This summer, I've realized that my life may not look like my mom's. Since I've been a little girl, when I've thought about the future, I always envisioned my life being like my mothers'. I'd get married around twenty-five, have kids in my early thirties, Purchase my dream house around forty, and then my children and grandchildren would flock to our home every year (or every other year) at Christmas. Life would revolve around church, kids, and maybe a few hobbies, like painting.
As I've become older, that dream has started to fade a little, crumble around the edges. Yes, I was married around 25, kids early 30s, but other things haven't worked out exactly as I planned. I finally realized that my life isn't necessarily destined to be a carbon copy of my parents. God may have something completely different in store.
Just last week, I was struggling with changes. Then I remembered 1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." As I turned the pages of my bible, I realized that I HAD been "looking thru a glass darkly". I was so focused on the difficulties of the here and now, that I was completely missing the big picture. So what if my husband and I don't buy a dream house just like my parents? So what if I'm not the amazing artist my mother is. God has a plan for me. His plan is not the same as my mother's or brother's or my friends. So if I see them achieve something that I have dreamed for myself or my children, I don't need to fret, or be jealous. The Lord is a good God. A righteous God. And He cares for us.
What a revelation! It may have been obvious to all of you out there, but I was just realizing, God has a whole plan for our lives.
It's like a beautiful tapestry, where the strands of pain and suffering are woven into the whole. The individual threads may look scrawny and ugly by themselves, but when they are woven into the tapestry they add a depth and beauty that wasn't previously there.
When I look at my current struggles, or my pain,I'm seeing a cloudy image, a confused reflection. At the end of my life, or maybe in heaven, I will see clearly that God had a plan all along.
Join me in praising God for His goodness to us, and that one day we WILL see Him face to face and understand His plan for us.