Linda's Cozy Mysteries

Growing Up Haunted, Hour-Long Special Radio Show

Friday, July 24, 2009

Change, it is a comin'

How do you feel about change? Is it good, bad or otherwise? Regardless of how we feel about change as individuals, it is a part of life.

Recently, I had a chance to discover this for myself. My mom was visiting earlier this summer, and I realized that she was changing. Not anything catastrophic, just little things. She's a little more forgetful than she used to be, a little more confused. At times, I felt that I was being the parent to her. Mom and I have had our moments of strife and disagreement, but we've always been close. Now I felt our relationship changing a little bit. I wasn't comfortable with this change at all. "Why do I have to act like the parent?" I thought. "She's the parent, not me!"

Role reversals are not comfortable, but then change is often challenging. This summer, I've realized that my life may not look like my mom's. Since I've been a little girl, when I've thought about the future, I always envisioned my life being like my mothers'. I'd get married around twenty-five, have kids in my early thirties, Purchase my dream house around forty, and then my children and grandchildren would flock to our home every year (or every other year) at Christmas. Life would revolve around church, kids, and maybe a few hobbies, like painting.

As I've become older, that dream has started to fade a little, crumble around the edges. Yes, I was married around 25, kids early 30s, but other things haven't worked out exactly as I planned. I finally realized that my life isn't necessarily destined to be a carbon copy of my parents. God may have something completely different in store.

Just last week, I was struggling with changes. Then I remembered 1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." As I turned the pages of my bible, I realized that I HAD been "looking thru a glass darkly". I was so focused on the difficulties of the here and now, that I was completely missing the big picture. So what if my husband and I don't buy a dream house just like my parents? So what if I'm not the amazing artist my mother is. God has a plan for me. His plan is not the same as my mother's or brother's or my friends. So if I see them achieve something that I have dreamed for myself or my children, I don't need to fret, or be jealous. The Lord is a good God. A righteous God. And He cares for us.

What a revelation! It may have been obvious to all of you out there, but I was just realizing, God has a whole plan for our lives.

It's like a beautiful tapestry, where the strands of pain and suffering are woven into the whole. The individual threads may look scrawny and ugly by themselves, but when they are woven into the tapestry they add a depth and beauty that wasn't previously there.

When I look at my current struggles, or my pain,I'm seeing a cloudy image, a confused reflection. At the end of my life, or maybe in heaven, I will see clearly that God had a plan all along.

Join me in praising God for His goodness to us, and that one day we WILL see Him face to face and understand His plan for us.

4 comments:

Kate said...

Wow Jill, powerful lesson for you~! I've never had a dream to be like anyone else's but I had my own struggles that my dreams didn't turn out the way I wanted my life to go as well. And sometimes change comes as a welcome relief too :)

Anonymous said...

Jill,
Amazing isn't it when we realize we are not our parents? God has such different plans for all of us. This is a new day, a new era, and a new beginning, exciting times with Christ await us...And it seems we have all been in rigorous training(trials and tribulations) for what he has instore for us and our families. So I'm anxiously looking forward to a life very different than the normal one around us. : )

Blessings
Dannelle

Jillya said...

It has been a powerful lesson - I'm excited to see what the future holds.

Anonymous said...

Jill,

You know what I love most about your devotion is that you are trusting God to tell the rest of your story. We all have to let go and trust God, and it is an ongoing process that all must do with the many different aspects of our lives. You are peeling the onion, and have released one more layer to Him who is able. We are all in that process together. Thank you for sharing. Love Dorothy McCann